You really are great. Made to do great things!Read More
I didn't have what I would consider a "Good Lent." I had a plan that I thought I executed it fairly well and yet as Easter arrives I wasn't feeling like I had the complete satisfaction that I was hoping for.
I'm not sure why I put so much pressure on having a "Good Lent." Did you have a "Good Lent?" Was this something you even thought about? How does one measure a "Good Lent?"
Conclusion of the plan was attending as many Holy Triduum services as I could. I can't remember the last time I went to Holy Thursday mass, and it had been at least ten years since I went to the evening service for Good Friday. After serving numerous Easter vigils, I think I'm good with skipping that one for a long time. I did however do something each day. Plan accomplished!
Since I had ruled out the vigil, I attended the prayer service on the morning of Holy Saturday. There is no mass, just prayers and songs and therefore it's really short and sweet. I was the first one there, so I cranked out a rosary (and yes I use that term purposely) and tossed in a novena that I'm praying for the month of March as part of my plan to pray one every 30 days. I settled in and waited for us to begin. About five minutes before we started, people started flowing in. Like all good Catholics, we flowed into the back.
One thing I hope to get over in my life is being irritated by late arrivals. It's a work in progress. I can understand if you arrive late if you have kids, but what prevents two grown adults to get to church on time for a 9:00 am event? Sure enough, with a church not even close to half full, and rows and rows of empty pews in front of me, a couple decided that standing next to me was the best spot.
What usually happens next is I am immediately agitated at being agitated. Why does this bother me? Who cares? Move out of the way. Two months ago I resolved to actually move into the middle of the pew to prevent this sort of thing from happening and it works well. But this morning I parked it right on the aisle. And Mr. & Mrs. Late Arrival disrupted me for 5 seconds.
I was so irritated...
Then something funny happened.
We were signing a hymn and by the time the couple had figured out which page we were on and which specific song (I inadvertently pointed to the wrong one), I mentioned that it was coming to the end. They landed on the final verse and sang the last three words.
We shared a laugh.
The deacon then led us in prayers again, and I noticed that the couple hadn't picked up the prayer book at the front of the chapel when they walked in. So I immediately handed them mine, which included me pointing out the correct place of where we were with the prayers. I walked to the back of the church and picked up a book for myself. On my way back I noticed the woman who had brought her mother in a few minutes before my new friends, and sat right in front of me, did not have a book either. So again I immediately handed her my copy, and returned to the back the church. By the time I sat back down, there was only a few minutes left in the service.
I know what you might be thinking. But trust me, any aggravation was long gone. I was filled with a nice dose of happiness. I was helping people. I had a job to do, and that was getting these people prayer books! I live for small jobs like this. Everyone was very thankful for the quick reaction to help them participate. It felt great!
When we were finished, the couple to my right along with the daughter in front of me, did not know what to do with the books. I offered to take them and return them. Their smiles were greatly appreciated. Another job! I love jobs!
God has a funny sense of humor because of situations like this. Here I am coming to church desiring some quiet contemplation time and hoping to experience something deeply spiritual. I had a plan remember? I get bothered when I feel people disrupt that serious prayer time, and here God wants me to spend a few minutes with people and just help them. I realize I just handed them a book and then returned it for them. But they gave me two jobs and paid me with a laugh and a smile.
Now that Easter is here, I'm not going to measure how my Lent was. My desire to get closer to knowing Jesus is really important and that's good for right now. I didn't wash these people feet like He did with His friends on Holy Thursday, but I also didn't sit there selfishly while they looked around wondering what was going on. If they sat somewhere else, or came in on time, we would not have shared this experience, and frankly I'm not sure my Holy Saturday would have been as enjoyable. While it wasn't part of any "plan," there's a message in realizing that.
It's good to have a plan, whether that's with your job, your family, or your spiritual and physical health. Most times those plans get thrown a curve ball and you have to have the stillness and awareness to react positively. God is there always. Sometimes He shows up late, wants to sit next to you and needs a book. Who can be agitated by that? Not having a "Good Lent" really doesn't matter when the "plan" isn't the most important thing to execute all the time. Be in the moment and appreciate the small graces that come your way. Thank you to my friends for reminding me of that!
Lent may not have been great, but Easter is off to a good start! My prayers are you experience the same great Easter.
This past weekend I attended a spiritual retreat at my favorite Jesuit retreat center in Southern Maryland. A year before I went there to reconnect and strengthen my relationship with God and His Son Jesus Christ.
At the time I was facing some serious personal and professional challenges in my life. In fact it was hard to distinguish between the two because my perils were intertwined. I wasn't a happy person and I needed to return to God to help me figure out what His plan was and what I needed to do. Spending 40 hours in silence on 235 acres of wooded land was the perfect place to work on me.
When it was time for me to leave that Sunday, I felt like a new person. God spoke to me in so many ways, basically telling me, "I'm here with you always. Don't worry, we got this." What I hoped to accomplish I did; my faith was strengthened, my resolve was solidified and my anxiety was eased.
Fast forward through the end of 2014 and midway through 2015. Life is better than those hot, uncertain days of summer. I have a job that I absolutely love, I'm living temporarily in a town that I find to fit my exact needs right now in terms of pace, and things to do, and the habits of praying and listening to God get stronger by the day.
So it was with great eagerness and anticipation that I return to Loyola. Again I had a basic need that I wanted to be filled and that was, "Don't try and recreate last year."
I placed my weekend in God's hands and let Him find me. He didn't have to work hard, and our conversations were a more straight forward, rather than fundamental. Not that I didn't need a reminder of basic principles, along with some uplifting messages, but I felt I built upon the foundation we created together in September 2014.
I don't have everything resolved. I'm a work in progress. I need to trust God's will for me. That is the theme for me to discern over; trust. Trust was the final message God had for me this past weekend. On Sunday, just before I was set to leave, I was presented the Prayer of Thomas Merton.
There is so much to like about the words in this prayer. I like the idea of having NO IDEA if what I'm doing is what God wants. But pleasing Him is a good thing I think. I'm not sure where the road will lead me, but hey, I thought that a year ago and look at me now....
It's that feeling that I plan to build upon over the short and long term. Advent is near, the promise of a Savior. One that walks the path with me. I look forward to retreating again next fall and seeing where I am on the path and the direction I'm headed.